Areas of Focus
It can be difficult deciding who to trust with both your story, and your life goals. While I welcome all aspects of this messy life in sessions, below are some specific examples that had led others to choose me as their therapist.
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
Your heart starts to race, your breathing gets shallow, you begin to worry you are actually having a heart attack, and you really just want to crawl out of your skin until the feeling ends. Or maybe you just always feel keyed up, like you cannot rest until your to-do list is done. Or your mind trails down “rabbit holes” of worry about worst-case scenarios. You struggle to fall asleep or fall back to sleep because “your brain just won’t turn off”. If this sounds familiar, there is help! Improving mind-body connection, learning to identify your mind’s triggers and body’s response to these triggers, can drastically improve self-regulation. Stop feeling hijacked by your emotions and bodily responses, and learn how to regain control of your experiences!
OCD
You are overcome with a feeling of anxiousness, and your brain tells you that if you complete a certain thought or action, you can relieve yourself of this horrible feeling. The only problem is that the completion of this thought or action reduces the control you have in your life and only intensifies the urge to complete this thought or action the next time.You are stuck in a never-ending (and intensifying) struggle of “damned if you do” and “damned if you don’t”. You perform your ritual seeking relief but only worsen the experience next time, or you try to refrain and suffer the unbearable agony of not getting that brief reprieve from your anxiety. Through a combination of cognitive and behavioral principles, you can lessen the hold these urges have over you, and begin regaining control over your life.
Grief
It feels like you are walking through quicksand with a weighted blanket draped over your shoulders, while trying to get through basic daily tasks. Average bereavement leave from companies is 3-5 days, but symptoms of acute grief can last several weeks to several months! Even in the “normal” experience of grieving, symptoms of grief can last up to a year, although hopefully decreasing in intensity. In prolonged grief, symptoms can occur well beyond a year. This is why we trudge along with an added weight and difficulty to daily living - because life doesn’t stop for our pain. There are factors that can impact the intensity of feelings and duration of symptoms, too: the type of loss, the relationship, previous experiences with loss, and the functionality of our coping strategies. We can also experience grief in ways that are not recognized by others! Companies do not give bereavement leave for the loss of a pet, but this can be a devastating loss to many animal lovers! Grief can accompany abortions or miscarriages, company buyouts, divorces, moves, medical diagnoses, and even the loss of a dream. Polyvagal theory can help make sense of the physiological aspects of grief by explaining the nervous system’s response to grief, while insight-based therapies can help you to make sense of the loss, find meaning and purpose beyond the loss, and build coping skills for future resilience.
Military
When I first met my military husband, I remember feeling lost in conversations when we were out with other military couples. The terms, acronyms, references to military customs or culture felt like a different language to me! Well, after decades in the military community, I can say that I not only know what PCS stands for, but I now have a deep understanding of the emotional and physical challenges created by them. I believe this is extremely helpful for building a trusting and understanding relationship in a much shorter time. Imagine how nice it is for you to not have to be a military member (or military spouse)-to-civilian dictionary before you ever get to the heart of the matter! It also helps us build on a connection we both know and understand. So whether you call it a base or a post, a promotion or an advancement -- I get the gist! Now, let’s get to your story!
Chronic Pain/Illness
Like the drip, drip, drip of water torture, chronic pain has a way of breaking our psyche and spirit. It sounds a bit crazy that something as seemingly harmless as water droplets could be transformed into a form of medieval torture, but the brain is a powerful tool that can work both for us and against us! Centuries later, we now understand the nervous system’s response to ongoing, usually minor, pain stimuli (such as drops of water to a person’s forehead), which leads to a process known as “pain wind-up” that results in a heightened and amplified experience of pain. This heightened and amplified experience of pain in the body then makes its way from the central nervous system to our prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) where our thoughts about these pain signals lead us to become hypervigilant in monitoring our experience of pain, avoiding potential causes of future pain, or worrying about the longevity and intensity of our pain experiences. Higher stress levels then increase the intensity of the pain signals, and the vicious cycle continues! This isn’t even discussing the negative impact of pain on sleep and the influence of sleep deprivation on worsening pain! Now do you want the good news? Through polyvagal and insight therapies, you can finally regain your power in this formerly powerless cycle! Polyvagal theory will teach you the relationship between the nervous system, pain perception, and your general well-being, as well as techniques to reset your nervous system through vagal nerve stimulation; while, insight-oriented therapies will teach you to identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts and implement coping skills that have been proven to reduce experiences of pain. Take back your life!
Caretaker Fatigue
You set out with pure intentions to provide a supportive, comfortable, loving environment for your loved one, whether that situation is an aging parent, a physically or mentally disabled loved one, or a loved one with a degenerative disease. When you act out of empathy for a person’s hardship, seeking to improve their situation through love, support, and comfort - you are being driven by compassion; however, this can quickly turn into self-sacrifice if you are unable to establish boundaries, and/or are motivated by feelings of obligation or the need to please others. Self-sacrifice is stressful, and our bodies are not designed to handle long-term stress. Long term stress causes dysregulation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which controls cortisol production and the body’s response to stress, as well as dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system (ANS), often leading to experiences of hyperarousal or shutdown. This is where caregiver fatigue or caregiver burnout occurs and you are completely exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So how do we stop the burnout? Polyvagal theory will improve your understanding of the nervous system’s role in stress and safety, and help you to develop strategies to improve nervous system regulation. While insight-based therapies will help you to: identify the root causes of your fatigue, challenge the negative thinking patterns that hold you captive in it, recognize emotional triggers and implement appropriate coping skills to improve emotion regulation, prioritize acts of self-care and boundary enforcement, and increase your resilience to stress. Stop losing yourself in the process of caring for others!
Life Transitions
This quote from John C. Maxwell speaks volumes: "Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." Whether the life transition you are experiencing was planned, unexpected, ever-evolving, or unfulfilled, it’s possible to feel stuck, or even paralyzed by the magnitude of your situation. We can experience so many major transitions in life: living independently; joining the workforce, losing a job, or retiring; getting married or going through a divorce; becoming a parent, step-parent or grandparent; positive and negative career changes; financial loss; moving; becoming empty nesters; being diagnosed with a medical condition or illness; experiencing limitations due to an injury or sudden disability; dealing with the challenges of aging; or even adjusting to life after the death of a loved one. If you find yourself struggling to find the growth in change that John C. Maxwell referenced, here’s how my approach can help you: insight-based therapies can improve self-awareness of the emotional triggers in your situation and understanding of root causes; improve coping skills and help stress-management; provide a safe space for emotional processing and exploration; help you clarify your goals, values, and priorities to improve decision-making; and improve resilience to experiences of change and hardship. Whether through acceptance, change, or a bit of both - let’s get you on a path to brighter days!
Relationships
Arguments, building resentment, questioning compatibility, feeling disconnected… Whether these relationship experiences stem from poor communication, replicating the dysfunctional interaction patterns of your childhoods, recent or previous trauma, or betrayals of trust in: infidelity, finances, or emotional safety, it is possible to replace old negative interactional patterns with new positive ones. Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on attachment bonds and brain science. EFT for couples encourages interactional changes through three stages: de-escalation, restructuring, and consolidation. Through this approach, I can help you learn to identify the triggers for your disagreements and the underlying emotions driving them. Once these factors are brought to light, we can build compassion and understanding in your relationship, which will reduce conflicts and strengthen emotional bonding. Rebuild your relationship stronger than it was before through insight-based actions!